new years eve

start with my menu and I'll blog later..

peaches...70
pudding...60
cheese...160
slice of bread..60

still sick

in fact I am worse, so I will be going to see my doctor tomorrow. i stayed within calorie range today, but i didn't make completely healthy choices. I was hungry but had to force myself to eat because of my sore throat so I went for the junk food
Poptarts-880
crackers-280
Peaches-140

Sick...?

I don't want to be sick. In fact I was hoping it was just a cold. I really was, but the longer this nasty sore throat goes on the more i am thinking that it is more then that. OK so my sore throat started WED and it is only SAT AM, BUT its getting worse not better. I can not survive without some sort of pain reliever because I can not swallow because it hurts so bad. I have never had strep throat or anything like that and I am HOPING that it not what that is. I was looking in my mouth yesturday, well last night to see if it was swollen or anything, and obviously it was, and I also so a lot of white spot on the right side of my mouth in the very back and it goes all the way down to where i can not see . That is not good is it?? I mean if its a sort of infection then all I need is antibiotics, but that would require a trip to the doctors office. I have no insurence right now and I owe my doctor on past bills. :/. I really don't know what to do. EVen if i decided i can go to the doctor The first day I would be able to go is wed AM, so if it doesn't clear up I guess I will go wed morning. I just really want the pain to go away because I don't think its this healthy to be taking this much tylenol. I am taking 2 every 4 hours. I wait till the pain comes back but it usually takes about 4 hours. In the middle of the night it was taking 2 hours. grr i hope that doesn't mean its getting worse. I'll find out with time i guess. Someone please tell me the spots are normal for a cold..


I'll start my menu today and update it as the day goes on. Oh yeah I did stay ontrack yesturday. Lets see if I can keep up the good work!!

Chicken Noodle Soup w/ toast----270
soy chips---365
cough drops---20
propel 75
Fruit cup----200
soup---410
1340

Daily Menu

I am going to post it today. I don't usually. and the reason for that is I usually go so far off track that i lose track :p. Its only 7 right now but i won't be eating anything else today. Ia mw orking till 11 and as soon as I get home I am hitting my bed because I have to work at 8 am. I was sick today and ended up having 8 cough drops and yes I counted the calories in those.

Cough Drops...40
Propel........75
Canteloupe....100
Large/med apple.100
Dried Pineapple.560
small apple.....60
pizza bites.....275
Total......1210

that is really good. Right on Target. Seems a little off though. I feel like i am forgetting something I am just not sure what. hmmmm maybe i will think of it later. I am so tired, and so sick of working 2 jobs. I wish I could get gaurenteed hours at one fo my jobs so I wouldn't have to work both. I am going to take a civil service exam in feb so maybe some job opportunities will open up then....I hope so

Leftovers

its hard to stay on track when there are a billion left overs in the house... grrrr
so i prob had about a billion cals today, and i binged..

i guess I start fresh tomorrow? I gotta stop saying that.

Plan for the new year

As a way to motivate myself I have been looking at weight loss websites like I once did at the beginning of my journey. I may be at my goal weight but there are a few things I would def like to touch up. I want to tone up and make healthier choices as a whole. One goal of mine is to recognize hunger, and stop binging, I know thats going to be the hardest. Last year I was veyr strict around the holidays cause i still had about 40 pounds to lose, but this year since i am at my original goal weight of 130 I believe that i will let myself eat what is ont he table without going out of control.

I want to set up a list of daily things i would like to accomplish as the new year starts.

1400 calories a day
weigh myself once every two weeks
Abdominal exercises
Cardio exercises ( I work two jobs, so just fitting it in will be difficult)

A few tips I have made for myself is to have the healthy choices available to myself, cause when i don't stock up or bring a snack along, thats when I usually get out of hand with my eating and start binging. I want to restrcit myself from cereal and crackers.

I just want to feel better pretty much. I feel so blah all the time, but i want to feel happier, and healthier. I finally have what I have always wanted, A boyfriend who i love, best friends who support me, a college degree, and a job i love, so I want to feel great too.


This working two jobs thing is getting old though. 75 hours a week is rough. I ams o tired. I have been working since 930 this morning and its 830pm now and I don't get off until 11. Then I have to come back in the morning (christmas day) and work 8-3... these next couple weeks will be busy because of the holidays but i hope to cut down to 50hours a week between the two jobs after that.

well i hope everyone has a great day with their families tomorrow

Do you ever feel like...

Do you ever feel like, I don't know just ugly?? Like you look in the mirror and you see yourself as...disfigured...compared to other people.?? I don't know if that makes sense... Let me try and explain, sometimes I look in the mirror and I wonder how people actually look at me. Its so weird. I know I have a boy friend, and I know I am not disfugured, so why do I feel like that.. grr, Its a bad way to feel. Today I was getting my hair touched up and I was surrounded by mirrors and i just kept thinking that everyone there was thinking... We can't help her here...

Other then that I am still have trouble staying on track. I have not gained anyweight but I want to lose some more and i just might not be ready yet, you know you have to be at that point where you are like "OK LETS DO THIS!!!!!"
well I hope everyone has a happy holiday!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!