no more jack

Yeah so I;ll update you guys on a few hings. My new plan is actaully coming along pretty well. I like not weighing myself everyday. I decided to let lose for a Halloween party on Saturday. I followed my diet all day but I knew i was going to drink that night. I sometimes over do it when I drink so i was attempting to not do my usual activity. The last time i drank was when Pat broke upwith me. I don't remember anything from the night and Nic took care of me, and now we're seeing each other so its kinda funny how that worked out. anyways before work on saturday I stopped my the liquor store and bought my drink of choice which was a bad idea. I went to the party with Nic and i drank the whole bottle of Jack by myself in under 20 mins. I don't remember everything but I am not gonna do that ever again because apparently I was stripping and biting people, and i even slapped Nic. I remember none of this. Apparently the slap story happened when Nic was holding me up cause I couldn't even sit up and someone was like "Lets play Never have I ever" and I said "I love that game! Never have I ever SLAPPED a guy!" and hit him as hard as I could. Everyone in the house heard it and he fell down. I feel soooo bad. anyways that was an embaressing night i am sure, so Nic asked me not to drink liquor any more and I agreed that it would probably be a good idea since I don't know when to stop. oh well, we learn from our mistakes right?

heres some pics in my costume. Its so funny I have changed so much in the past year. a Year ago Iwouldn't have even gone to a party!!

I am a nurse


This is Me ry and laura attempting the shocker, which by that staement alone you can tell I have been drinking.


My friend jess and I...I wasn't that badyet




Andy, me, and Jess..Obviously all gone...


haha my fav pic of the night, Me ry and courtney. I look like I am in heaven!

I washed my ipod

yes, i am officially the biggest idiot on the planet. I mean honestly, who does that? That Ipod was my life. I used it when I went for walks to relax everyday, I used it when I exercised, I used it when I walked across campus, I used it in the library at school, I used when I did homework, I used it in the car, I used it on my break at work. and obviously I used it when I did laundry..

and now...Nothing. and I can't buy a new one. I can't afford a new one. I only work part time for very close to min wage. I work 35 hours aweek, and I go to school full time so I can't even pick up a second job, which i am trying to and just interviewed for one a couple weeks ago. and thats just so I can pay my bills, that does not include a new ipod. Not to mention there are more iportant things I need. For an example: my fifteen year old vehicle doesn't make it up hills anymore, the roof leaks so everything is soaked inside, and I have to windshied wipers or heat, and I just got a 3000 dollar hospital bill from my surgery and insurence is not going to cover any more... This sucks, i have 2 months of college left and i feel like i am not going to make it.

but sorry, I just needed to vent, and you guys always listen.

Diet wise I ahve decided not to step on the scale until December 1st. I am logging everything thatgoes into my mouth.I have decided to do this because I am obssessing way to much over the 3 digits on the scale. I need to stop thinkng about it 24/7. I need to realize that I will be ok if i don't weigh myself. Although I swear i can hear it calling my name.

plans

well Yesturday wasn't so bad, I aim for 1400 calories a day but yesturday I had about 1800. Still not too much, I binged but on apples and vegetables, so not that bad. I am trying to stop this late night binging all together. I also did a work out video before i went to sleep. It got me pretty out of breath too. I wasn't expecting that. I am going to try and get 30 mins of exercise a day. I really want to just tone up and i think i'll be happy. My skin is pretty much destroyed in certain areas because its all stretched out so I don't expect to look like a model or anything, but yesturday I realized that my stomach was the only thing that made me unhappy. I mean I can wear a size 3 jeans, not at all place but when I buy my jeans at Kohls they are size 3, Hollister I wear 3, American Eagle I wear 4, my roxy shorts are 3. anyways that makes me very happy, but then my stomach isin't slim its pudgy, so I want to tone that up. I swear its unproportionate to the rest of my body. So i am keeping a strict log of what I am putting in my mouth, and i am going to try an exercise everyday, and if not everyday, every other day. Cardio is always good though :)

its pouring today and I am soaked! it sucks because the air conditioning is on here at the school so I am really cold.

I have about 400 calories left to eat today and I have it all planned out so lets hope it works :)

I can't seem to stop binging

remember when I had a bad binging problem? I would eat everything? Its starting up again and I can't get it under control. What can I do to control my calorie intake? I need to just take a step back and look things over, also my new mac crashed yesturday and I have to deal with that on top of school. i can't handle this!

Florida Pictures

Yeah so I use to hate vacation pictures but now I actually like them. They are a big improvement from my vacation pics from Las Vegas in 2006. Would you guys like to see any? Of course you would :)
I am gonna post a few, but its going to seem like a lot, but trust me, compared to what we took its only a few. Ya know theres nothing like being young and taking vacations with your best friends. So that is why you might see me with some drinks in a few pics.

OK I'll start with a picture of just me :)



and another one of me being silly :)


this next one is of The best Daddy in the world and his little angel


Now this one is of me and my best friend Laura at the airport in syracuse waiting for out flight to Orlando


This one is Billy and me standing in front of JRs car


Here is Billy and me at Universal City Walk


Oh you all will love this, The waiter at Chillis made me a balloon animal :) its a butterfly!!!!


OH no TWISTER! Outside the ride at Universal


Soakin up the sun at Margaritaville


Wastin' away in Margaritaville, you can see my cell phone, I had it out cause I was txting Nic, haha


MARGARITAS


This is funny, at Halloween Horror Nights at Universal they sell lots and lots of alcohol and my dad and his girlfriend were buying me and laura shots all night!! Not Billy though cause hes only 20!


Never thought I would have this picture...Having a shot with my Dad!


These are so cute, they sold Jello shots in a llittle shot injector thingy...whatever they are called. Mine was sex on the beach


Here we are standing next to some killer clowns :)


and my fav pic from Universal, us in front of the Universal Ball thing



that past few days I have been off track but I am just tryin to get back on track today, and stay that way for a week without cheating! then I'll weigh myself next Thursday!

HeartBreak, College, and Florida.

wow, I have just been so stressed out lately. like the kind of stressed out where when you actually do have a minute to yourself you just kinda want to breath. The only time I have been spending on the computer has involved school, but I have been thinking about you all a lot lately and have managed to find the time to post. Actually there will be more time because I finished a huge presentation that I no longer have to worry about but I'll get to that later.

Let me update you. Most of you know I am in my last semester of college. I have continued maintaining and i was actaully 125.8 last week but I took a short vacation to Florida for 5 days and came back 128 lol.

Patrick, my boyfriend as you all know him, is no longer my boyfriend. Pretty much hes not who i thought he was, and unfortunatley it always ends up like that. Towards the end, this was right after my last post to you all, he started using me for one thing only, and lying to me, and yelling at me, and saying very mean things to me, but I was holding on. Then he broke up with me, and told me there was an "80% chance of us getting back together" WTH does that mean? Well I clung around him for another two weeks till he told me he didn't want to be my friend anymore. those two weeks were the hardest weeks, because he would embaress me in front of everyone, and yell at me and make me feel stupid all the time. I was devesated and thats where my friend Nic comes in. I have known Nic for over 2 years and he pretty much saved me. ok thats a little dramatic, he just really made me feel good about myself and made me laugh after all this. In fact I started to fall for him, but i was ignoring the feeling because i didn't want to rebound on him. and then one night Patrick came to me and said "I heard you're going to Jess's house tonight, Don't Drink too much!" \

ok who is he to tell me when and where and how much i can drink!! We weren't even together, he said he didn't want to be friends!! then we got in an argument, so Nic came over to Jess's house with me and I was wicked upset and drank way too much, and he took care of me which is kinda sweet, well it is sweet, but I don't remember any of it. so I started liking him even more, and last wed I told him because we have been hanging out and talking all the time and he feels the same way but we are both kind of shy so who knows what will happen. Anyway thats my love life right now. haha not that any of you are interested in my drama...on to school.

School sucks. I hate every second I spend in this school. Ok that was very dramatic too! I am so stressed. I had a 70 min presenation which determined weathe ror not I graduated and thank god thats over. I haven't got my grade on it yet but i am pretty sure I passed.. now I only have 5 more papers to write...yay...that was sarcasm.

Ok so Thursday after my presentation I went to visit my dad in Florida with two friends. We spent plenty of time at the beach, on Sat we went to Disney's Animal Kingdom, MGM, and Magic Kingdom, and had an unbelievable amount of fun, and on sunday we went to Halloween Horror nights and it was amazing! I can not wait till next year and I will post pics later! I miss you all and sorry for the venting here, just wanted to update you all!!!