new years eve

start with my menu and I'll blog later..

peaches...70
pudding...60
cheese...160
slice of bread..60

still sick

in fact I am worse, so I will be going to see my doctor tomorrow. i stayed within calorie range today, but i didn't make completely healthy choices. I was hungry but had to force myself to eat because of my sore throat so I went for the junk food
Poptarts-880
crackers-280
Peaches-140

Sick...?

I don't want to be sick. In fact I was hoping it was just a cold. I really was, but the longer this nasty sore throat goes on the more i am thinking that it is more then that. OK so my sore throat started WED and it is only SAT AM, BUT its getting worse not better. I can not survive without some sort of pain reliever because I can not swallow because it hurts so bad. I have never had strep throat or anything like that and I am HOPING that it not what that is. I was looking in my mouth yesturday, well last night to see if it was swollen or anything, and obviously it was, and I also so a lot of white spot on the right side of my mouth in the very back and it goes all the way down to where i can not see . That is not good is it?? I mean if its a sort of infection then all I need is antibiotics, but that would require a trip to the doctors office. I have no insurence right now and I owe my doctor on past bills. :/. I really don't know what to do. EVen if i decided i can go to the doctor The first day I would be able to go is wed AM, so if it doesn't clear up I guess I will go wed morning. I just really want the pain to go away because I don't think its this healthy to be taking this much tylenol. I am taking 2 every 4 hours. I wait till the pain comes back but it usually takes about 4 hours. In the middle of the night it was taking 2 hours. grr i hope that doesn't mean its getting worse. I'll find out with time i guess. Someone please tell me the spots are normal for a cold..


I'll start my menu today and update it as the day goes on. Oh yeah I did stay ontrack yesturday. Lets see if I can keep up the good work!!

Chicken Noodle Soup w/ toast----270
soy chips---365
cough drops---20
propel 75
Fruit cup----200
soup---410
1340

Daily Menu

I am going to post it today. I don't usually. and the reason for that is I usually go so far off track that i lose track :p. Its only 7 right now but i won't be eating anything else today. Ia mw orking till 11 and as soon as I get home I am hitting my bed because I have to work at 8 am. I was sick today and ended up having 8 cough drops and yes I counted the calories in those.

Cough Drops...40
Propel........75
Canteloupe....100
Large/med apple.100
Dried Pineapple.560
small apple.....60
pizza bites.....275
Total......1210

that is really good. Right on Target. Seems a little off though. I feel like i am forgetting something I am just not sure what. hmmmm maybe i will think of it later. I am so tired, and so sick of working 2 jobs. I wish I could get gaurenteed hours at one fo my jobs so I wouldn't have to work both. I am going to take a civil service exam in feb so maybe some job opportunities will open up then....I hope so

Leftovers

its hard to stay on track when there are a billion left overs in the house... grrrr
so i prob had about a billion cals today, and i binged..

i guess I start fresh tomorrow? I gotta stop saying that.

Plan for the new year

As a way to motivate myself I have been looking at weight loss websites like I once did at the beginning of my journey. I may be at my goal weight but there are a few things I would def like to touch up. I want to tone up and make healthier choices as a whole. One goal of mine is to recognize hunger, and stop binging, I know thats going to be the hardest. Last year I was veyr strict around the holidays cause i still had about 40 pounds to lose, but this year since i am at my original goal weight of 130 I believe that i will let myself eat what is ont he table without going out of control.

I want to set up a list of daily things i would like to accomplish as the new year starts.

1400 calories a day
weigh myself once every two weeks
Abdominal exercises
Cardio exercises ( I work two jobs, so just fitting it in will be difficult)

A few tips I have made for myself is to have the healthy choices available to myself, cause when i don't stock up or bring a snack along, thats when I usually get out of hand with my eating and start binging. I want to restrcit myself from cereal and crackers.

I just want to feel better pretty much. I feel so blah all the time, but i want to feel happier, and healthier. I finally have what I have always wanted, A boyfriend who i love, best friends who support me, a college degree, and a job i love, so I want to feel great too.


This working two jobs thing is getting old though. 75 hours a week is rough. I ams o tired. I have been working since 930 this morning and its 830pm now and I don't get off until 11. Then I have to come back in the morning (christmas day) and work 8-3... these next couple weeks will be busy because of the holidays but i hope to cut down to 50hours a week between the two jobs after that.

well i hope everyone has a great day with their families tomorrow

Do you ever feel like...

Do you ever feel like, I don't know just ugly?? Like you look in the mirror and you see yourself as...disfigured...compared to other people.?? I don't know if that makes sense... Let me try and explain, sometimes I look in the mirror and I wonder how people actually look at me. Its so weird. I know I have a boy friend, and I know I am not disfugured, so why do I feel like that.. grr, Its a bad way to feel. Today I was getting my hair touched up and I was surrounded by mirrors and i just kept thinking that everyone there was thinking... We can't help her here...

Other then that I am still have trouble staying on track. I have not gained anyweight but I want to lose some more and i just might not be ready yet, you know you have to be at that point where you are like "OK LETS DO THIS!!!!!"
well I hope everyone has a happy holiday!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

gross

Today I feel gross
really i feel gross everyday
I ate some left over pizza though and I wish I hadn't. I am glad my fam only has pizza on spec occasions. I weighed myself this morning though and i weighed 127 so there has een no damage haha. I wish I could get motiated to tone up...grrr

Anyways I am working overnight tonight so I am sure I'll get bored, maybe I'll b able to have enough time to update you all on mylife

Graduation

Today I graduated College...yep I am done with college...Amazing. You would think this would be an unbelieveable absolutley wonderful day off my life. Completely opposite. In fact it was possibly one of the top ten worst days of my life. i was crying before graduation during graduation and all day afterwards. My boyfriend and I got into are first fight which was pretty bad. I got upset cause he left my graduation before I walked, and then didn't come to my house to meeet my family afterwards, things are ok but i don't like arguing with people
we had pizza and cake so obviously i induldged. I can not even post a menu today. Tomorrow for real though i am on track. ahahaha i say that everyday. Long day tomorrow. i work 730am-230pm at the grocery store and 3-11 at my other job...wow I should get to bed soon I guess.

My daddy is leaving tomorrow morning, I am sad. We're suppose to geta ton of snow tonight!

Busy Day

So pretty much I just need to keep track. The next couple days are going to be rough trying to track and stay on track. In fact I am at work now so this is difficult. I woke up late and went to the mall and i dunno. Lets see I have a new obsession with POP tarts so I know that those are horrible for you but I fiigure if I work them into my diet and cut back somewhere else it will be ok until I get over this craving...
Target Calories: 1400

Poptarts:..................................440
Shrimp n Spinich Salad (applebees)..........546 (approximate)
Smarties....................................50
Cookie.....................................100 (guess)
total so far........................... 1136
Chicken Nuggets (from housei work at)....656
misc snacks..............................200
total...................................1992

Not bad and I am still hungry so hopefully one more meal before bed not over 300 calories... maybe?

my dad is coming up for my graduation tomorrow. I am excited.
to see him and to graduate

ph here is a funny story. Yesturday i got pulled over on my way home from work for not having my lights on...i swear i thought they were on, but i didn't have my license on me either, i thought i was screwed!! it was my old roommate Eric who just became a cop! hahahahaha ohh I was lucky, but i felt so stupid.

College Graduate

Ok I am kinda a college graduate now, and with the work load gone right now i am back to blogger. Sorry everyone I had to take a break on blogging because working two jobs ang going to school was very stressful and I actually had to cut A LOT out of my life. but hopefully i can get back to normal. I have maintained my weight but I still want to lose 10 pounds more and tone up. With school being out i am hoping to be able to exercise more, and finally use that ab lounge i bought. I am working on my last final right now but i think imight take a break and use my ab alounge and finish the test when I get home from work. and i think eerytime i feel unmotivated i am gonna watch biggest loser, because i can not watch that show and not work out. haha I took pictures of my stomach and i want to tone up before summer. I obviously will never have a flat tummy, ave too much extra skin, but i know i can reduce the flabbieness! I would also like to be a little stronger. I want to focus on my goals now because i feel like i finally can without having to work on school work. School work is the worst I always want to eat when studying!! I still have my binging problem, like todat i binged, but i am still only at 1600 calories. I think that is ok, not too bad. i shoot for 1400. Here is a recent pic of me.