Leftovers

its hard to stay on track when there are a billion left overs in the house... grrrr
so i prob had about a billion cals today, and i binged..

i guess I start fresh tomorrow? I gotta stop saying that.

Plan for the new year

As a way to motivate myself I have been looking at weight loss websites like I once did at the beginning of my journey. I may be at my goal weight but there are a few things I would def like to touch up. I want to tone up and make healthier choices as a whole. One goal of mine is to recognize hunger, and stop binging, I know thats going to be the hardest. Last year I was veyr strict around the holidays cause i still had about 40 pounds to lose, but this year since i am at my original goal weight of 130 I believe that i will let myself eat what is ont he table without going out of control.

I want to set up a list of daily things i would like to accomplish as the new year starts.

1400 calories a day
weigh myself once every two weeks
Abdominal exercises
Cardio exercises ( I work two jobs, so just fitting it in will be difficult)

A few tips I have made for myself is to have the healthy choices available to myself, cause when i don't stock up or bring a snack along, thats when I usually get out of hand with my eating and start binging. I want to restrcit myself from cereal and crackers.

I just want to feel better pretty much. I feel so blah all the time, but i want to feel happier, and healthier. I finally have what I have always wanted, A boyfriend who i love, best friends who support me, a college degree, and a job i love, so I want to feel great too.


This working two jobs thing is getting old though. 75 hours a week is rough. I ams o tired. I have been working since 930 this morning and its 830pm now and I don't get off until 11. Then I have to come back in the morning (christmas day) and work 8-3... these next couple weeks will be busy because of the holidays but i hope to cut down to 50hours a week between the two jobs after that.

well i hope everyone has a great day with their families tomorrow

Do you ever feel like...

Do you ever feel like, I don't know just ugly?? Like you look in the mirror and you see yourself as...disfigured...compared to other people.?? I don't know if that makes sense... Let me try and explain, sometimes I look in the mirror and I wonder how people actually look at me. Its so weird. I know I have a boy friend, and I know I am not disfugured, so why do I feel like that.. grr, Its a bad way to feel. Today I was getting my hair touched up and I was surrounded by mirrors and i just kept thinking that everyone there was thinking... We can't help her here...

Other then that I am still have trouble staying on track. I have not gained anyweight but I want to lose some more and i just might not be ready yet, you know you have to be at that point where you are like "OK LETS DO THIS!!!!!"
well I hope everyone has a happy holiday!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

gross

Today I feel gross
really i feel gross everyday
I ate some left over pizza though and I wish I hadn't. I am glad my fam only has pizza on spec occasions. I weighed myself this morning though and i weighed 127 so there has een no damage haha. I wish I could get motiated to tone up...grrr

Anyways I am working overnight tonight so I am sure I'll get bored, maybe I'll b able to have enough time to update you all on mylife

Graduation

Today I graduated College...yep I am done with college...Amazing. You would think this would be an unbelieveable absolutley wonderful day off my life. Completely opposite. In fact it was possibly one of the top ten worst days of my life. i was crying before graduation during graduation and all day afterwards. My boyfriend and I got into are first fight which was pretty bad. I got upset cause he left my graduation before I walked, and then didn't come to my house to meeet my family afterwards, things are ok but i don't like arguing with people
we had pizza and cake so obviously i induldged. I can not even post a menu today. Tomorrow for real though i am on track. ahahaha i say that everyday. Long day tomorrow. i work 730am-230pm at the grocery store and 3-11 at my other job...wow I should get to bed soon I guess.

My daddy is leaving tomorrow morning, I am sad. We're suppose to geta ton of snow tonight!

Busy Day

So pretty much I just need to keep track. The next couple days are going to be rough trying to track and stay on track. In fact I am at work now so this is difficult. I woke up late and went to the mall and i dunno. Lets see I have a new obsession with POP tarts so I know that those are horrible for you but I fiigure if I work them into my diet and cut back somewhere else it will be ok until I get over this craving...
Target Calories: 1400

Poptarts:..................................440
Shrimp n Spinich Salad (applebees)..........546 (approximate)
Smarties....................................50
Cookie.....................................100 (guess)
total so far........................... 1136
Chicken Nuggets (from housei work at)....656
misc snacks..............................200
total...................................1992

Not bad and I am still hungry so hopefully one more meal before bed not over 300 calories... maybe?

my dad is coming up for my graduation tomorrow. I am excited.
to see him and to graduate

ph here is a funny story. Yesturday i got pulled over on my way home from work for not having my lights on...i swear i thought they were on, but i didn't have my license on me either, i thought i was screwed!! it was my old roommate Eric who just became a cop! hahahahaha ohh I was lucky, but i felt so stupid.

College Graduate

Ok I am kinda a college graduate now, and with the work load gone right now i am back to blogger. Sorry everyone I had to take a break on blogging because working two jobs ang going to school was very stressful and I actually had to cut A LOT out of my life. but hopefully i can get back to normal. I have maintained my weight but I still want to lose 10 pounds more and tone up. With school being out i am hoping to be able to exercise more, and finally use that ab lounge i bought. I am working on my last final right now but i think imight take a break and use my ab alounge and finish the test when I get home from work. and i think eerytime i feel unmotivated i am gonna watch biggest loser, because i can not watch that show and not work out. haha I took pictures of my stomach and i want to tone up before summer. I obviously will never have a flat tummy, ave too much extra skin, but i know i can reduce the flabbieness! I would also like to be a little stronger. I want to focus on my goals now because i feel like i finally can without having to work on school work. School work is the worst I always want to eat when studying!! I still have my binging problem, like todat i binged, but i am still only at 1600 calories. I think that is ok, not too bad. i shoot for 1400. Here is a recent pic of me.